when it rains, it freaking pours

the act of juggling plates continues. this week I have endured: my car's battery dying, getting my car jumped twice, buying a new battery ($85), hooking up the jumper cables wrong and blowing countless fuses, my AC and radio going out, then the alternator and alternator fuse, getting a new alternator ($285), borrowing my brother's car and then leaving the lights on all day which in result made the battery on HIS car die right in time for me to take the kids to the softball field, then I have to have my boss's neighbors jump me again so I can get the kids to the game on time. phew...I got my car back last night and the radio is still dead, no power locks anymore either. but such is life. oh yea...and I got a ticket today. another one. after two months of no speeding, I'm caught in the act without even knowing I did it.

yesterday I was waiting for my food at Jason's deli and I was watching a mom trying to get her son to tell her what he wanted for dinner. he was uncooperative to say the least. I was completely worn out from my day and adventures with my car, and for the first time in my entire life, I was TERRIFIED of having kids. it reminded me of that scene in Father of the Bride 2, when George Banks finds out that his wife is pregnant again right about the time he was planning to retire. They're driving home from the doctor's office and his wife is looking out the window at this beautiful mother pushing a stroller down the street, a rosy picture of motherhood. and on the other side George is looking out the window at this father frantically running after his son who, in turn throws his ice cream cone on his dad's shirt, stomps on his foot, and screams, "I don't WANT an ice cream cone!!" the feeling was pretty scary, mostly because I've never felt it before. I made this realization that right now, I get to go home at the end of the day. if Callahan keeps on being a brat, I don't have to worry about it, he's not my kid. I get to hang out with my friends whenever I want to. I get to go to yoga. I can do whatever I please with my time. and, not that kids are coming anytime soon (I'm not even dating anyone for goodness sake), but as soon as it happens, there's no ME anymore. it's all them. nothing wrong with that, but I guess I had never realistically thought it through.